Unhinged

UNH · 168 cards · Released

Laughing Hyena
Creature — Hyena

Gotcha — If an opponent laughs, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand.

"Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, 'It's getting hot in here, huh?' The other muffin says, 'Aagh! A talking muffin'"

2/2
Monkey Monkey Monkey
Creature — Monkey

As this creature enters, choose a letter.

This creature gets +1/+1 for each nonland permanent whose name begins with the chosen letter.

Many matches make more madcap monkey mayhem.

1/1
Monkey Monkey Monkey
Creature — Monkey

As this creature enters, choose a letter.

This creature gets +1/+1 for each nonland permanent whose name begins with the chosen letter.

Many matches make more madcap monkey mayhem.

1/1
Name Dropping
Enchantment

Gotcha — If an opponent says a word that's in the name of a card in your graveyard, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return that card to your hand.

Gemini (May 21—June 21) This week is a good time to branch out and meet others. But don't forget your roots. Avoid commitments and open flames.

Old Fogey
Summon — Dinosaur

Phasing, cumulative upkeep , echo , fading 3, bands with other Dinosaurs, protection from Homarids, snow-covered plainswalk, flanking, rampage 2

"These kids today with their collector numbers and their newfangled tap symbol. Twenty Black Lotuses and twenty Plague Rats. Now that's real Magic."

7/7
Old Fogey
Summon — Dinosaur

Phasing, cumulative upkeep , echo , fading 3, bands with other Dinosaurs, protection from Homarids, snow-covered plainswalk, flanking, rampage 2

"These kids today with their collector numbers and their newfangled tap symbol. Twenty Black Lotuses and twenty Plague Rats. Now that's real Magic."

7/7
Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental
Creature — Elemental

Art rampage 2 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked by a creature, it gets +2/+2 for each creature in the blocker's art beyond the first.)

Just call it OMRSTPLRLCNSWMTCTHTALCNEE for short.

2/2
Remodel
Instant

If you control two or more green permanents that share an artist, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.

Exile target artifact.

6 PM (23) This Old Grove 98055

A rusted masticore makes a beautiful addition to any garden.

Shoe Tree
Creature — Treefolk

This creature enters with up to two shoe counters on it. Use your shoes as counters.

This creature gets +1/+1 for each shoe counter on it.

It grows several feet a year.

3/3
Shoe Tree
Creature — Treefolk

This creature enters with up to two shoe counters on it. Use your shoes as counters.

This creature gets +1/+1 for each shoe counter on it.

It grows several feet a year.

3/3
Side to Side
Instant

You and target opponent arm-wrestle. If you win, create a 3/3 green Ape creature token.

His friends at the gym never knew Garanth's secret shame. For years he had tried to walk away from professional arm wrestling, but hey—free monkeys.

S.N.O.T.
Creature — Ooze

You may have S.N.O.T. enter stuck to another creature named S.N.O.T. If you do, all those creatures form a single creature.

S.N.O.T.'s power and toughness are each equal to the square of the number of cards named S.N.O.T. stuck together to form it. (One is a 1/1, two are a 4/4, three are a 9/9, and four are a 16/16. If you manage to get -1 S.N.O.T.s stuck together, it's a 1/1.)

*²/*²
Stone-Cold Basilisk
Creature — Basilisk

Whenever this creature blocks or becomes blocked by a creature with fewer letters in its name, destroy that creature at end of combat. (Punctuation and spaces aren't letters.)

Whenever an opponent reads this creature, that player is turned to stone until end of turn. Stoned players can't attack, block, cast spells, or activate abilities.

2.5/5
Supersize
Instant

Target creature gets +3½/+3½ until end of turn.

You want "mise" with that?

Symbol Status
Sorcery

Create a 1/1 colorless Expansion-Symbol creature token for each different expansion symbol among permanents you control.

"Everyone break into teams. Weaponry, you're with me. Nature group, meet by the palm tree. Stoneworks and metalworks, follow the anvil. Everyone else, gather around the giant V."

—Sword of Kaldra

Uktabi Kong
Creature — Ape

Trample

When this creature enters, destroy all artifacts.

Tap two untapped Apes you control: Create a 1/1 green Ape creature token.

"I desire the acquisition of a potassium-rich fruit comestible of substantial magnitude."

8/8
"Ach! Hans, Run!"
Enchantment

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may say "Ach! Hans, run! It's the . . ." and the name of a creature card. If you do, search your library for a card with that name, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. That creature gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.

Ass Whuppin'
Sorcery

Destroy target silver-bordered or acorn permanent in any game you can see from your seat.

Asses to ashes, Donkeys to dust.

Meddling Kids
Creature — Human Child

As this creature enters, choose a word with four or more letters.

Spells with the chosen word in their text box can't be cast.

These kids know their four-letter words.

2/3
Rare-B-Gone
Sorcery

Each player sacrifices all permanents that are rare or mythic rare, then each player reveals their hand and discards all cards that are rare or mythic rare.

The only rare you'll ever need. Okay, not really.

Who
Instant

Target player gains X life.

Gleemax
Legendary Artifact

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

Help us . . . R&D under mental domination of alien brain in jar . . . only chance . . . Gleemax's blatant disregard for flavor text . . . send help!

Gleemax
Legendary Artifact

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

Help us . . . R&D under mental domination of alien brain in jar . . . only chance . . . Gleemax's blatant disregard for flavor text . . . send help!

Letter Bomb
Artifact

When this artifact enters, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card they draw until they draw this card. When that player draws this card, it deals 19½ damage to them.

"Dear Magic R&D, . . ."

Letter Bomb
Artifact

When this artifact enters, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card they draw until they draw this card. When that player draws this card, it deals 19½ damage to them.

"Dear Magic R&D, . . ."

Mana Screw
Artifact

: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add . Activate only as an instant.

There was no darker or more evil creation in all the multiverse than that of the mana screw.

Mana Screw
Artifact

: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add . Activate only as an instant.

There was no darker or more evil creation in all the multiverse than that of the mana screw.

Mox Lotus
Artifact

: Add .

: Add one mana of any color.

Mox Lotus
Artifact

: Add .

: Add one mana of any color.

My First Tome
Artifact — Book

, : Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

This card is named My First Tome.

My First Tome
Artifact — Book

, : Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

This card is named My First Tome.

Pointy Finger of Doom
Artifact

, : Spin this artifact in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

"I would have made a 'Spin-The-Bottle' joke if I thought anyone reading this had ever played the game."

—Bucky, flavor text writer

Rod of Spanking
Artifact

, : This artifact deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap this artifact unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Minutes before the campus watch busted pledge week at the Alpha Beta Unlimited house . . .

Time Machine
Artifact

: Exile this artifact and target nontoken creature you own. Return them to the battlefield at the beginning of your upkeep on your turn X in the next game you play with one of your opponents in this game, where X is the mana value of the exiled creature.

Time Machine
Artifact

: Exile this artifact and target nontoken creature you own. Return them to the battlefield at the beginning of your upkeep on your turn X in the next game you play with one of your opponents in this game, where X is the mana value of the exiled creature.

Togglodyte
Artifact Creature — Golem

This creature enters turned on.

Whenever a player casts a spell, toggle this creature's ON/OFF switch.

As long as this creature is turned off, it can't attack or block, and prevent all damage it would deal.

4/4
Toy Boat
Artifact Creature — Ship

Cumulative upkeep—Say "Toy Boat" quickly. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this creature, then sacrifice it unless you say "Toy Boat" once for each age counter on it—without pausing between or fumbling it.)

3/3
Urza's Hot Tub
Artifact

, Discard a card: Search your library for a card that shares a complete word in its name with the discarded card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

www.wizards.com/hottub

Water Gun Balloon Game
Artifact

As this artifact enters, each player puts a pop! counter on "0."

Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop! counter up one.

Whenever a player's pop! counter hits "5," that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop! counters to "0."

World-Bottling Kit
Artifact

, Sacrifice this artifact: Choose a Magic set. Exile all permanents with that set's expansion symbol except for basic lands.

YOUR AD HERE

City of Ass
Land

This land enters tapped.

: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

"But . . ."

R&D's Secret Lair
Legendary Land

Play cards as written. Ignore all errata.

: Add . (This mana is still added to your mana pool.)

"Let them complain. As long as the addictive ink is working, we can do anything we want." PLAY AT YOUR OWN RISK

Plains
Basic Land — Plains

(: Add .)

Island
Basic Land — Island

(: Add .)

Swamp
Basic Land — Swamp

(: Add .)

Mountain
Basic Land — Mountain

(: Add .)

Forest
Basic Land — Forest

(: Add .)

Super Secret Tech
Artifact

Premium spells cost less to cast.

Premium creatures get +1/+1.

"Ooh . . . shiny!"