Unglued

UGL · 88 cards · Released

Charm School
Enchantment

As this enchantment enters, choose a color and balance this enchantment on your head.

Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you by sources of the chosen color.

When this enchantment falls off your head, sacrifice this enchantment.

The Cheese Stands Alone
Enchantment

When you control no permanents other than The Cheese Stands Alone and have no cards in hand, you win the game.

The meat, on the other hand, has frequent visitors.

Double Dip
Instant

Choose another player. You gain 5 life. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you gain 5 life.

In a duel and taking a lickin' . . .

Get a Life
Instant

Target player and each of that player's teammates exchange life totals.

Gimme five! (Or whatever you got.)

I'm Rubber, You're Glue
Enchantment

When you speak in non-rhyming sentences, sacrifice this enchantment.

Say "I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bounces off me and sticks to you": Change the target of target spell or ability that targets only you.

Knight of the Hokey Pokey
Creature — Knight

First strike

, Do the Hokey Pokey: Prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to this creature this turn. (To do the Hokey Pokey, choose an arm, a leg, or your whole self and put it in. Put it out. Put it in. Shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey! Turn yourself around.)

That's what it's all about.

2/2
Lexivore
Creature — Beast

Whenever this creature deals damage to a player, destroy target permanent other than this creature with the most lines of text in its text box. (If two or more cards are tied, target any one of them.)

Plucking the chicken

—Elvish expression meaning "flinging the monkey"

2/3
Look at Me, I'm the DCI
Sorcery

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Few understand the DCI's rigorous decision-making process.

Mesa Chicken
Creature — Bird

Stand up, Flap your arms, Cluck like a chicken: This creature gains flying until end of turn.

"Lo! lord of layers proudly comb-crested

Hero to hens father to feathers

Crowing sun-caller weaver of wattle

Elder to eggs."

Rooster Saga

2/2
Miss Demeanor
Creature — Lady of Proper Etiquette

Flying, first strike

At the beginning of each other player's upkeep, you may compliment that player on their game play. If you don't, sacrifice this creature.

Even war can be civil.

3/1
Once More with Feeling
Sorcery

Exile all permanents and all cards from all graveyards. Each player shuffles their hand into their library, then draws seven cards. Each player's life total becomes 10. Exile Once More with Feeling.

DCI ruling — A deck can have only one card named Once More with Feeling.

If yo . . . ted.

Prismatic Wardrobe
Sorcery

Destroy target nonartifact, nonland permanent that doesn't share a color with clothing worn by its controller.

"Spring in Dominaria means pastels!"

—Excerpt from Mage's Home Journal

Sex Appeal
Instant

Prevent the next 3 damage that would be dealt this turn to any number of targets, divided as you choose. If there are more people in the room of a different gender than you are as you cast this spell, prevent the next 6 damage this way instead.

Bureaucracy
Enchantment

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.

When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice this enchantment and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

Censorship
Enchantment

As this enchantment enters, choose a word.

Whenever a player says the chosen word, this enchantment deals 2 damage to that player.

Editor's note: There were no suitable flavor text submissions for this card.

Checks and Balances
Enchantment

Cast this spell only if there are three or more players in the game.

Whenever a player casts a spell, each of that player's opponents may discard a card. If they do, counter that spell.

Chicken à la King
Creature — Bird Noble

Whenever a 6 is rolled on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each Bird. (You may roll dice only when instructed to.)

Tap an untapped Bird you control: Roll a six-sided die. (Like now.)

During the Chicken Revolution, the king managed to keep his head while the others—well, just ran around.

2/2
Clambassadors
Creature — Clamfolk

Whenever this creature deals damage to a player, choose an artifact, creature, or land you control. That player gains control of that permanent.

"Sorry we shelled your village—here's some gold."

4/4
Clam-I-Am
Creature — Clamfolk

If you roll a 3 on a six-sided die, you may reroll that die.

The Clams down in Clamville

All scootered and skittled—

"The three is no more!"

The Clam fiddler fiddled.

2/2
Clam Session
Creature — Clamfolk

As this creature enters, choose a word.

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may sing at least six words of a song, at least one of which is the chosen word. If you don't, sacrifice this creature. You can't repeat a song.

"Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Pearl . . . ."

2/5
Common Courtesy
Enchantment

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.

When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice this enchantment.

"You didn't say the Magic word."

Denied!
Instant

Choose a card name, then target spell's controller reveals their hand. If a card with the chosen name is revealed this way, counter that spell.

"Don't worry about it. It happens to every mage sooner or later."

Double Take
Instant

Choose another player. You draw two cards. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you draw two cards.

"But next time we meet, . . ."

Fowl Play
Enchantment — Aura

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

"I feel like chicken tonight!"

Free-for-All
Enchantment

When this enchantment enters, exile all creatures face down.

At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with this enchantment at random and puts it onto the battlefield.

When this enchantment leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.

Psychic Network
Enchantment

Each player plays with the top card of their library held against their forehead, revealed to each other player.

Sorry
Enchantment

Before any player casts a spell with the same name as a card in any graveyard, that player may say "sorry." If they don't, any other player may say "sorry" as the spell is being cast. When another player says "sorry" this way, counter the spell.

Whenever a player says "sorry" at any other time, Sorry deals 2 damage to that player.

B.F.M. (Big Furry Monster)
Creature — The Biggest, Baddest, Nastiest,

You must cast both B.F.M. cards to put

leaves the battlefield, sacrifice the other.

B.F.M. can't be blocked except by three or

"It was big. Really, really big. No, bigger

No, more. Look, we're talking krakens and

B.F.M. (Big Furry Monster)
Scariest Creature You'll Ever See

B.F.M. onto the battlefield. If one B.F.M. card

more creatures.

than that. Even bigger. Keep going. More.

dreadnoughts for jewelry. It was big!"

—Arna Kennerüd, skyknight

99/99
Deadhead
Creature — Zombie

: Return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield. Activate only if an opponent isn't touching their hand (of cards).

"I'm back from the Dead," the zombie moaned. "And they were far out, man."

3/3
Double Cross
Sorcery

Choose another player. Look at that player's hand and choose a card other than a basic land card from it. They discard that card. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, look at that player's hand and choose a card other than a basic land card from it. They discard that card.

"You're in for a nasty butt-kickin'."

Handcuffs
Enchantment

As this enchantment enters, choose a player.

When the chosen player's hands aren't touching each other, sacrifice this enchantment and that player sacrifices three permanents.

"That was fun! Now me."

—Gwendlyn Di Corci

Infernal Spawn of Evil
Creature — Beast

Flying, first strike

, Reveal this card from your hand, Say "It's coming": This card deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

7/7
Jumbo Imp
Creature — Imp

Flying

As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put a number of +1/+1 counters on this creature equal to the result.

At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die and remove a number of +1/+1 counters from this creature equal to the result.

0/0
Organ Harvest
Sorcery

Your team may sacrifice any number of creatures. For each creature sacrificed this way, you add .

"Lucy, you've got some spleenin' to do."

Ow
Enchantment

Whenever a creature deals damage to a player, that player may say "Ow" once for each permanent named Ow. If the player doesn't, this enchantment deals 1 damage to them.

Have you ever noticed how some flavor text has no relevance whatsoever to the card it's on?

Poultrygeist
Creature — Bird Spirit

Flying

Whenever a creature dies, you may roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, sacrifice this creature. Otherwise, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.

Farmer Brown never ate eggs again.

1/1
Temp of the Damned
Creature — Zombie

As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature enters with a number of funk counters on it equal to the result.

At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a funk counter from this creature. If you can't, sacrifice it.

"Not the graveyard shift again!"

3/3
Volrath's Motion Sensor
Enchantment — Aura

Enchant player

As this Aura enters, choose one of enchanted player's hands. That player balances this Aura on the back of that hand.

When this Aura falls off the chosen hand, sacrifice this Aura and enchanted player loses 3 life.

Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire
Enchantment

Whenever any player taps a permanent, that player chooses one of their opponents. The chosen player gains control of that permanent at the beginning of the next end step.

At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player didn't tap any nonland permanents that turn, this enchantment deals 3 damage to that player.

Chicken Egg
Creature — Egg

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 6, sacrifice this creature and create a 4/4 red Giant Bird creature token.

"That's a lotta nuggets."

—Jaya Ballard, task mage

0/1
Double Deal
Sorcery

Choose another player. Double Deal deals 3 damage to that player. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, Double Deal deals 3 damage to the player.

"I'm facing defeat, . . ."

Goblin Bookie
Creature — Goblin

, : Reflip any coin or reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

"Glok loved bets! He'd sit in the bar all night an' laugh an' laugh. Hey—he still owes me."

—Squee, goblin casino hand

1/1
Goblin Bowling Team
Creature — Goblin

If this creature would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus the result of a six-sided die roll to that permanent or player instead.

Flog was out of his league—this game wasn't up his alley, but the team couldn't spare him if he split.

1/1
Goblin Tutor
Instant

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

2 — A card named Goblin Tutor

3 — An enchantment

4 — An artifact

5 — A creature

6 — An instant or sorcery

Hurloon Wrangler
Creature — Minotaur

Denimwalk (This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player is wearing denim.)

"Nothing comes between me and my Didgeridoos™."

2/2
Jalum Grifter
Legendary Creature — Devil

, : Shuffle Jalum Grifter and two lands you control face down. Target opponent chooses one of those cards. Turn the cards face up. If they chose Jalum Grifter, sacrifice it. Otherwise, destroy target permanent.

3/5
Krazy Kow
Creature — Cow

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you a roll a 1, sacrifice this creature and it deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.

"I got your milk right here!"

3/3
Landfill
Sorcery

Choose a land type. Exile all lands you control of that type. Drop those cards, one at a time, onto the playing area from a height of at least one foot. Destroy each permanent completely covered by those cards. Then return the cards you dropped to the battlefield tapped.

Ricochet
Enchantment

Whenever a player casts a spell that targets a single player, each player rolls a six-sided die. Change the target of that spell to the player with the lowest result. Reroll to break ties, if necessary.

Spark Fiend
Creature — Beast

When this creature enters, roll two six-sided dice. If you rolled 2, 3, or 12, sacrifice this creature. If you rolled 7 or 11, don't roll dice for this creature during any of your following upkeeps. If you rolled any other total, note that total.

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll two six-sided dice. If you rolled 7, sacrifice this creature. If you roll the noted total, don't roll dice for this creature during any of your following upkeeps. Otherwise, do nothing.

5/6
Strategy, Schmategy
Sorcery

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.

1 — Do nothing.

2 — Destroy all artifacts.

3 — Destroy all lands.

4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.

5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.

6 — Repeat this process two more times.

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service
Sorcery

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service deals X damage to each of Y target creatures and Z target players or planeswalkers.

The number printed on the card is no longer in service. For help, go to wizards.custhelp.com or find us on Twitter @Wizards_Help.

Cardboard Carapace
Enchantment — Aura

Enchant creature

For each other card named Cardboard Carapace you have with you outside the game, enchanted creature gets +1/+1.

. . . that exciting . . . about . . .

Double Play
Sorcery

Choose another player. Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

The wizard exclaimed, "I'm no chicken . . . ."

Elvish Impersonators
Creature — Elves

As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

"Uh-hunh."

*/*
Flock of Rabid Sheep
Sorcery

Flip X coins. For each flip you win, create a 2/2 green Sheep creature token named Rabid Sheep.

And their bleating was like a wet salmon slapped upon the land—slap! slap! slap!

Free-Range Chicken
Creature — Bird

: Roll two six-sided dice. If both results are the same, this creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is that result. If the total of those results is equal to any other total you have rolled this turn for this ability, sacrifice it. (For example, if you roll two 3s, it gets +3/+3. If you roll a 4 and a 2 for this ability later that turn, sacrifice it.)

3/3
Gerrymandering
Sorcery

Exile all lands. Give each player a number of those cards chosen at random equal to the number of those cards the player controlled. Each player returns those cards to the battlefield under their control.

Ghazbán Ogress
Creature — Ogre

When this creature enters, if one player has won more Magic games that day than any other player, that player gains control of this creature.

2/2