When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.
Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.
Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.
The ogre appealed the match loss and got it downgraded to a warning.
: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice this creature and counter that spell or ability.
"...and now they're trying to make a brick wall on my property fight a dinosaur to the death."
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.
Don't cross him or you'll end up sleeping with the merfolk.
When this enchantment enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until this enchantment leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice this enchantment.
Flying
Whenever you attack with two or more creatures,
Augment (, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)
First strike
, Do the Hokey Pokey: Prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to this creature this turn. (To do the Hokey Pokey, choose an arm, a leg, or your whole self and put it in. Put it out. Put it in. Shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey! Turn yourself around.)
That's what it's all about.
As this enchantment enters, choose a number and a second number one higher or one lower than the first number.
All instances of the first chosen number in the full text of each permanent, spell, and card in any zone are changed to the second chosen number.
Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)
Few understand the DCI's rigorous decision-making process.
, : Tap target creature without reminder text. (Reminder text is still any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)
"You say you're capable of flying. You got any proof of that?"
When this creature enters, you may exile target non-Horse creature you control that wasn't put onto the battlefield with this ability this turn, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.
"Until end of turn" and "this turn" effects don't end.
Mongo's fleas no longer bothered him. But the family of goblins that had moved in behind his left ear was starting to get really irritating.
When this creature enters,
exile target creature card with mana value 2 or less from your graveyard. If it has augment, combine it with a host you control. Otherwise, put it onto the battlefield.
Knightlifelink (Damage dealt by Knights you control also causes you to gain that much life.)
: Syr Cadian gains vigilance until end of turn. Activate only from sunrise to sunset.
: Syr Cadian gains flying until end of turn. Activate only from sunset to sunrise.
Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
, : Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.
This spell costs more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.
As B.O.B. enters, create four 1/1 blue Beeble creature tokens.
The number of loyalty counters on B.O.B. is equal to the number of Beebles you control. (Create or sacrifice Beebles whenever B.O.B. gains or loses loyalty.)
[+1]: Up to X target Beebles can't be blocked this turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand.
[−1]: Draw a card.
Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice this creature unless you say its flavor text.
Save a kill spell to deal with this guy.
If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying
Whenever a 6 is rolled on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each Bird. (You may roll dice only when instructed to.)
Tap an untapped Bird you control: Roll a six-sided die. (Like now.)
During the Chicken Revolution, the king managed to keep his head while the others—well, just ran around.
Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice this enchantment.
"You didn't say the Magic word."
: Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.
"Just wait till I get my Krark-Clan Ironworks, Genesis Chamber, and Grinding Station. Oh yeah, and a second Myr Retriever."
Enchant creature
As this Aura enters, choose a word.
Whisper the chosen word: Tap enchanted creature.
When this creature enters, you may draw a card.
You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.)
And yea he doth spake: "Let there be Magic."
As this enchantment enters, choose a word with four or more letters.
After you say the chosen word for the first time each turn, an opponent may ring or imitate a bell within five seconds. When no opponent does, draw a card.
Ding, ding, ding!
Roll a six-sided die. Put target nonland permanent into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the result.
Anyone other than a goblin would've gotten only a hand caught in the cookie jar.
The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, ending, second main, combat, first main, and beginning.)
As long as there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed.
"Here on going is heck the what?"
Defender
You may tap an untapped Wall you control to have any player reroll a die that player rolled.
"You need a six? All right everyone, she needs a six!"
Whenever you cast a spell with a squirrel in its art, you get (an acorn counter).
Whenever a Squirrel you control enters or dies, you get .
, Pay X : Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn.
, Pay X : Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn.
Flying
At the beginning of each end step, if an opponent lost 3 or more life this turn,
Augment (, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)
Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)
"You saved that Urza's Saga pack all these years for *this*?"
When this creature enters, target opponent discards a card.
Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)
Will players understand that the creature is being crushed by two parentheses?
Not a chance.
Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.
This creature has flying as long as it's being held above the battlefield.
Zarv no longer trusted the kitten posters telling him to "hang in there."
Flying, first strike
, Reveal this card from your hand, Say "It's coming": This card deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.
Flying, first strike, trample
Once each turn, while you're searching your library, you may pay , reveal this card from your library and say "I'm coming, too" If you do, this card deals 2 damage to a player of your choice.
Flying, first strike, trample, haste
This spell costs less to cast for each card you've revealed this turn.
When this creature enters, you may say "I'm here." If you do, it deals 3 damage to target player.
See evil, hear evil, speak evil.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from this creature.
For the mind-minded mastermind.
Flying
As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put a number of +1/+1 counters on this creature equal to the result.
At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die and remove a number of +1/+1 counters from this creature equal to the result.
Flying
Whenever a creature dies, you may roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, sacrifice this creature. Otherwise, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
Farmer Brown never ate eggs again.
Flying
When this creature enters, destroy target creature and put your head on the table. Sacrifice this creature when your head stops touching the table.
No body is ready for this kind of power.
You may tap this creature to increase the result of a die any player rolled by 1.
"In this line of work, you've got to know how to squirrel things away. Quite literally, in my case."
When this creature enters, target creature an opponent controls gets -1/-1 until end of turn.
Whenever you cast a spell, note the first letter of its artist's name. If that letter wasn't already noted, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
Another moving piece by the artist El Gecko.
Madness , cycling , kicker , flashback , buyback
Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.
As this creature enters and whenever it attacks, stack two dice on top of it. (All dice must be stacked vertically, one on top of another.)
This creature gets +1/+1 for each die in its stack.
This creature attacks each combat if able.
When the stack falls, sacrifice this creature.
When this creature enters, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.
Menace (This creature can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)
Other creatures you control wearing hats in their art have menace.
An accessory in every sense of the word.
Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Activate only once each turn.
They refer to their methods as "special S.W.A.T. tactics," and no one has lived to correct them.
Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery
(This creature has INFINITE POWER.)
It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says,
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. This creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.
"You're about to be struck by a brilliant idea!"
As this creature enters, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice this creature after it enters.
Is it six?
Flying
Whenever Stet attacks, you may exile a card from your graveyard. When you do, Stet deals 4 damage to any target whose name begins with the same letter as the exiled card.
: Delete the first letter of target permanent or player's name until end of turn.
Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.
Trample (This spell can deal excess damage to its target's controller.)
Super-Duper Death Ray deals 4 damage to target creature.
"Comin' through!"
All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.
It puts the "vortex" in "flavortext."