When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
"Rent a scooter and be just like Devil K. Nevil! Just don't go faster than the speed limit. Or jump over anything. Or catch on fire. Or break every bone in your body multiple times. Other than that, just like him!"
Reach
When this creature enters, you may discard a card. If you do, reveal the top five cards of your library. Ask a person outside the game to choose which of them is most like a rock band. Put that card into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.
Born to, and of, rock.
Choose one —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Roll a six-sided die. When you do, Slight Malfunction deals 1 damage to each of up to X target creatures, where X is the result.
"Attention, valued patrons. The Tilt-o-Squirrel is now closed."
—Astrotorium public address system
When this creature enters, without speaking or indicating any specific creature, pantomime to a person outside the game, then they choose a creature you don't control. This creature deals damage equal to twice the number of Robots you control to the chosen creature.
Silent, but deadly.
Choose a triggered ability of target permanent. It triggers. You control that ability.
Whenever you copy a triggered ability, you may do a little dance.
As Vorthos, Steward of Myth enters, choose a named Magic character.
Each spell you cast with the chosen character in its name, flavor text, or art costs less to cast. This effect reduces only the amount of colored mana you pay.
"Just wait, my Madara deck isn't all Emperor Bolas. There's an Umezawa subtheme!"
Whenever you place a sticker, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn. If it's an art sticker, instead put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
Nobody had ever won the bear, but then again, nobody had ever wanted it quite as much.
Well Done deals 5 damage to target creature. If that creature is rare or mythic rare, Well Done deals 3 damage to that creature's controller.
"What's the big deal? I've been on fire eighty-one times. Twice just while sleeping."
—Devil K. Nevil, daredevil extraordinaire
When this creature enters, choose a letter.
: Untap another target permanent whose name starts with the chosen letter.
"Whimsy overflow in sector G! The gremlins are rampaging and the beebles are on fire!"
Whenever you roll a 1 or 2, put that many +1/+1 counters on this creature.
: Roll a six-sided die.
"If the acrobatic show doesn't wow the audience, we have no one to blame but our elves."
—Myra the Magnificent
Trample
, : You get (a ticket counter).
When Captain Nebula tragically destroyed the planet Blorb-12 in a parking accident, Myra compensated the survivors with lifetime passes.
When this creature enters, roll five six-sided dice and store those results on it.
At the beginning of combat on your turn, you may reroll any number of this creature's stored results.
This creature gets +X/+X, where X is the greatest number of stored results on it of the same value.
Ward (Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays .)
When Chicken Troupe enters, you get , then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.
Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other ride.
When Clandestine Chameleon enters, you get , then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.
Clandestine Chameleon has all abilities of ability stickers on other permanents you own and cards in your graveyard.
Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
The Astrotorium adds new attractions almost as fast as Captain Nebula can crash them into asteroids.
At the beginning of your end step, if you control an Employee, a Performer, or a Robot, you may get or create a Treasure token. If you control all three, you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.
Punchy was programmed to do two things: punch tickets and love punching tickets.
Until end of turn, target non-Brushwagg creature gets +1/+1 for each supertype, card type, and subtype it has.
"Flea circus? No, flee circus!"
Enchant creature you control
When this Aura enters, you may put a name sticker on it. When you do, enchanted creature fights up to one target creature you don't control.
Enchanted creature gets +0/+2 for each name sticker on this Aura with eight or more letters.
You get , then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Target creature you control deals damage equal to its power to target creature you don't control.
What the show lacks in historical accuracy, it makes up for in awesome submission holds.
This creature has vigilance as long as you control a stickered permanent.
The milk bottle toss is closed until the rules can be amended.
As Hardy of Myra's Marvels enters, choose a number.
Whenever you cast a spell with the chosen number of lines of flavor text, put that many +1/+1 counters on target creature.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)
Each +1/+1 counter on a creature you control is also a Food token. (It's an artifact with ", , Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.")
, : Roll two six-sided dice. For each odd result, put a +1/+1 counter on a creature of your choice. Activate only as a sorcery.
Her most popular flavors are vanilla, maple pecan crunch, and Glurgian galactopod.
Choose one or both —
• Destroy target creature with flying.
• Destroy target Attraction. (It's put into its owner's junkyard.)
You may apologize. If you do, you gain 3 life.
"So sorry, but, per our waiver, we're not responsible for 'things happening.'"
, : Put two +1/+1 counters on target creature with four or more legs.
, : Until end of turn, all creatures able to block target creature with four or more legs do so.
"Don't worry about me, folks! This beauty was well-fed by my predecessor."
Whenever this Equipment becomes attached to a creature, choose a creature card name with an identical mana cost. That creature becomes a copy of the card with the chosen name until this Equipment becomes unattached from it.
Equip
"Ach! Hans, run! Get the camera. He's adorable!"
—Steffi Bobsdotter, next words
When Lineprancers enters, you get , then you may put a power and toughness sticker on a creature you own.
: Target creature you don't control blocks target creature you control with a power and toughness sticker on it other than Lineprancers this turn if able.
Can you do the can-can-can-can?
Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token for each fire extinguisher you can see from your seat.
In hindsight, Chandra's Incendiary Experience should never have been built next to Auntie Grub's House of Pitch.
Trample
When this creature enters, you may put a name sticker on it. Put a +1/+1 counter on it for each unique vowel on that sticker. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)
"Petting in the petting zoo is not advised."
—Astrotorium waiver
Roll two six-sided dice. Return any number of cards with total mana value X or less from your graveyard to your hand, where X is the total of those results. Exile Pair o' Dice Lost.
The Astrotorium is a zero-waste facility, meaning it deals with zero of its waste.
Reach
When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Calling it a "petting zoo" really saved on the cages.
As an additional cost to cast this spell, gobble X. (Each time you gobble, take a bite of food or sacrifice a Food token.)
X target creatures you control each get +2/+2 and gain trample until end of turn.
The pie was outstanding. The cobbler tasted like shoes.
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and can't be blocked except by creatures with flavor text.
"If you've got words, we're going to have words."
Trample
Whenever you roll your third die each turn, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
This dinosaur doesn't know what will kill him, but he's determined it won't be heart disease.
: Add . Activate only once each turn. (While activating an ability, use rather than tapping the permanent to pay for .)
Elven tap is the official language of three very obnoxious planets.
Flying, deathtouch
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player looks at the top card of your library and chooses a word on that card. You spell that word. If you spell it correctly, draw a card. Otherwise, scry 1.
Just be thankful it wasn't grammar scorpions.
When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Whenever this creature attacks, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token that's tapped and attacking for each Attraction you've visited this turn.
Such plush accommodations.
Reach
When Stiltstrider enters, you get , then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.
Impossibly tall, improbably elegant.
Whenever you create a token or put a counter or a sticker on another permanent, put a knickknack counter on this creature. Use a unique item that completely fits on this creature for each knickknack counter.
This creature gets +1/+1 for each knickknack counter on it.
Players play a subgame starting at 5 life and with up to three permanent cards with different names from their main-game library on the battlefield. As the subgame ends, the winner chooses one of the cards they put onto the battlefield as the subgame began and puts it onto the battlefield rather than shuffling it into their library.
Deathtouch
, Sacrifice this creature: Roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.
The animal and vegetable categories kind of merged over time.
When Ambassador Blorpityblorpboop enters, you get , then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.
At the beginning of each combat, you may have Ambassador Blorpityblorpboop's base power become equal to the total power of all stickers on permanents you control and its base toughness become equal to those stickers' total toughness.
Flying
When Angelic Harold enters, you may put a name sticker on a nonland permanent you own.
Each creature you control with three or more words in its name gets +1/+1.
The voice of an angel. And the face of an angel. And the legs of... you get the idea.
When "Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster enters, put a +1/+1 counter on each other creature you control that has a hat.
"Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster has menace as long as you're wearing a hat.
The capo of caps, the hitman of hats, the don of donning fashionable headwear.
At the beginning of combat on your turn, choose target nonland permanent you control. Until end of turn, it becomes a Vehicle artifact with base power and toughness each equal to its mana value, and it gains crew 2 and "Crash Land — Whenever this Vehicle deals damage, roll a six-sided die. If the result is equal to this Vehicle's mana value, sacrifice this Vehicle, then it deals that much damage to any target."
When Claire D'Loon, Joy Sculptor enters, for the rest of the game, tokens you own become cards that are still tokens. (They continue to exist after they leave the battlefield.)
, : You may put a token from your graveyard or hand onto the battlefield.
She'll sculpt goblins, saprolings, Marit Lage . . . though that one takes a lot of balloons.
[0]: Roll a six-sided die.
1 or 2 — [+2], then create two 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens. They gain haste until end of turn.
3 — [−1], then return a card with mana value 2 or less from your graveyard to your hand.
4 or 5 — Comet deals damage equal to the number of loyalty counters on him to a creature or player, then [−2].
6 — [+1], and you may activate Comet's loyalty ability two more times this turn.
When Dee Kay enters, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll a 2, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
Whenever you roll a 4, you may tap or untap target artifact or creature.
Whenever you roll a 6, return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.
You may choose not to untap Grand Marshal Macie during your untap step. If you do, put a pause counter on it, then you lose 1 life for each pause counter on it.
Whenever Macie becomes untapped, remove all pause counters from it.
, : Choose an "until end of turn" or "this turn" effect. As long as Macie remains tapped, that effect doesn't end.
You may have It Came from Planet Glurg enter as a copy of X different creatures on the battlefield. (It has their total power, total toughness, combined mana costs, all text boxes, names, art, and so on.)
A sludge with a grudge.
You may look at the top card of your library any time.
You may cast common spells from the top of your library.
Guests you control get +1/+1.
As far as Lila was concerned, all courtesy should be common.
: Note the name of target instant or sorcery card in your graveyard and put it onto the battlefield face down. It's a 3/3 creature with "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may create a copy of the card with the noted name. You may cast the copy without paying its mana cost" and "If this creature would leave the battlefield, exile it instead of putting it anywhere else."
Whenever you cast a spell, choose one —
• Flavor — Meet and Greet "Sisay" gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each line of flavor text that spell has.
• History — Create a Treasure token if that spell doesn't share an expansion symbol with a permanent you control or a card in your graveyard.
Whenever you roll a 3 or higher, Monoxa gains first strike until end of turn. If the roll was 4 or higher, it gains menace until end of turn. If the roll was 5 or higher, it gains lifelink until end of turn.
: Roll a six-sided die.
"Can we get this ghost 11% spookier?"
Deathtouch
Whenever The Most Dangerous Gamer enters or attacks, open an Attraction.
Whenever you open an Attraction, put a +1/+1 counter on The Most Dangerous Gamer.
Whenever you claim the prize of an Attraction, destroy target permanent.
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell from your hand, open an Attraction.
, : Exile target instant or sorcery card with mana value X from your graveyard and choose an Attraction you control that doesn't have a midway counter on it. Put a midway counter on it. For as long as that Attraction is on the battlefield, whenever you visit it, copy the exiled card. You may cast the copy without paying its mana cost.
Haste
Robots you control get +1/+1.
, , Tell a joke you haven't told this game to someone outside the game: Create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token. If that person laughed, the token gains haste until end of turn.
Flying
Roxi's power is equal to the number of permanents you control with an art sticker plus the number of cards in your graveyard with an art sticker.
When Roxi enters, distribute up to two art stickers among one or two nonland permanents you own.
Space sculptor (Space Beleren divides the battlefield into alpha, beta, and gamma sectors. If a creature isn't assigned to a sector, its controller assigns it to one. Opponents assign first.)
[+1]: Creatures in each sector can be blocked this turn only by creatures in the same sector.
[−1]: Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature in the sector of your choice.
[−5]: Destroy all creatures in the sector of your choice.
The Space Family Goblinson has trample as long as you've rolled three or more dice this turn.
Whenever you roll a die, put a +1/+1 counter on The Space Family Goblinson.
The goblin word for "vacation" translates roughly to "a battered landscape of noise and violence."
Reach
When Spinnerette enters, open an Attraction.
As long as you control three or more Attractions, Spinnerette gets +2/+0 and has menace.
High-wire injuries are down 95%. Spider-related injuries are up 3000%.