Choose two —
• Untap two target permanents.
• Tap each permanent target player controls with exactly one word in its name.
• Discard all the cards in your hand, then draw that many cards.
• Return target instant or sorcery card from your graveyard to your hand.
Choose two —
• Draw a card from an opponent's library.
• Copy target instant or sorcery spell. You may choose new targets for the copy.
• Until end of turn, target creature loses all abilities and becomes a blue Frog with base power and toughness 1/1.
• Create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.
Choose two —
• Return target permanent to its controller's hand.
• Draw two cards, then discard a card.
• Change the target of target spell with a single target.
• Turn over target nontoken creature.
Choose two —
• Counter target black-bordered spell.
• Return target creature to its owner's hand.
• Untap each permanent you control with a watermark.
• Roll two six-sided dice. Target player mills X cards, where X is the total of those results.
Choose two —
• Scry 3.
• Create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.
• Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.
• Return all artifacts target player controls to their owner's hand.
Defender
You may tap an untapped Wall you control to have any player reroll a die that player rolled.
"You need a six? All right everyone, she needs a six!"
When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Target opponent loses life equal to the result.
target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)
part basket case, all lowercase.
When this creature enters, target opponent discards a card.
Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)
Brrrrrrrrrrrr . . .
Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)
. . . aaaaaaiiii . . .
Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)
. . . iiiiiiinnnn . . .
Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)
. . . nnnnnssssss!
Destroy target creature, then assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
The S.N.E.A.K. Code clearly permits looting corpses for parts. That just meant Agent 47.3 had to make sure her target was dead first.
As this creature enters, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
: Target player who doesn't control this creature guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice this creature.
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace.
Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches enchanted creature, that player loses 2 life.
This creature has flying as long as it's being held above the battlefield.
Zarv no longer trusted the kitten posters telling him to "hang in there."
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from this creature.
For the mind-minded mastermind.
Haste
Reveal this card from your hand: Masterful Ninja is on the battlefield and in your hand until end of turn.
: This creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
You may activate this card's augment ability any time you could cast an instant.
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player,
Augment (, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as—oh, never mind.)
Flying
This creature gets +2/+2 and has deathtouch as long as it's dark outdoors.
"Stalking hard or hardly stalking, am I right?"
Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.
Menace
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
Saw her coming. Didn't matter.
, Exile a permanent you control with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark: Return a permanent card with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark from your graveyard to the battlefield.
By the fourth funeral, the mooks had gotten pretty good at them.
Flying
When this creature enters, destroy target creature and put your head on the table. Sacrifice this creature when your head stops touching the table.
No body is ready for this kind of power.
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player reveals their hand. You choose a card from it with the longest name. That player discards that card.
The Agents of S.N.E.A.K.—Serious, Nonstop Espionage and Kidnapping.
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may destroy target creature facing left in its art. (Creatures without faces don't face anywhere.)
The Agents of S.N.E.A.K.—Silent Ninjas Evading Any Kapture.
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player loses a finger until this creature leaves the battlefield. (The finger is chosen by its owner and can't roll dice or touch cards.)
The Agents of S.N.E.A.K.—Sinister Nerds Eliminating All Knowledge.
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may destroy target creature facing right in its art. (Creatures without faces don't face anywhere.)
The Agents of S.N.E.A.K.—Skilled, Notably Efficient Assassin-Kickers.
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player reveals the top card of their library. Put that card into your hand and you lose life equal to its mana value.
The Agents of S.N.E.A.K.—Spies Nimbly Eluding Adversaries' Knives.
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, roll a six-sided die. That player loses life equal to the result.
The Agents of S.N.E.A.K.—Subpar, Notoriously Evil Agent Killers.
You may tap this creature to increase the result of a die any player rolled by 1.
"In this line of work, you've got to know how to squirrel things away. Quite literally, in my case."
( can be paid with either or 2 life.)
: Reveal a card you own from outside the game that has been banned or restricted in a Constructed format and put it into your hand.
"Just wait—I have a response."
Increase the result of each die you roll by 2.
Lucinda didn't know which she enjoyed most: the science, the squirrels, or the maniacal laughter.
Deathtouch
When this creature enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
A mook's life span is just long enough to get just good enough to get careless.
When this creature enters, target creature an opponent controls gets -1/-1 until end of turn.
A person outside the game looks at target opponent's hand and chooses a nonland card from it. That player discards that card.
Martha was in and out in exactly two minutes—thirty seconds to administer the poison plus a minute and a half to properly refold the napkins.
Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put all creature cards revealed this way onto the battlefield under your control. They're Zombies in addition to their other types. (Remove those cards from your deck before beginning a new game.)
: Combine this card from your graveyard with target host.
, Exile a creature card from your graveyard:
Augment (, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)
, : Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.
Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.
Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the result.
Skrab tried to warn his fellow goblins that the hammer was bait for a trap, but they stopped listening at "hammer."
When this creature enters, you may destroy target artifact.
When this creature enters, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.
Players play a Magic subgame, starting at 1 life and using their libraries as their decks. For the rest of the main game, if a source would deal damage to a player who didn't win the subgame, it deals double that damage to that player instead.
When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature deals damage equal to the result to target creature an opponent controls.
Frenzy 2 (Whenever this creature attacks and isn't blocked, it gets +2/+0 until end of turn.)
This creature can't be blocked by wordy creatures. (A creature is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
When this creature enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)
Battle cry (Whenever this creature attacks, each other attacking creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.)
When this creature enters, roll two six-sided dice. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the difference between those results.
Cascade (When you cast this spell, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order.)
When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature deals damage equal to the result to target opponent or planeswalker.
Unleash (You may have this creature enter with a +1/+1 counter on it. It can't block as long as it has a +1/+1 counter on it.)
Each creature you control with any kind of counter on it has art menace. (They can't be blocked except by creatures with two or more visible figures in their art.)
Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)
Battalion — Whenever this creature and at least two other creatures attack, target creature can't block this turn.
Menace (This creature can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)
Other creatures you control wearing hats in their art have menace.
An accessory in every sense of the word.
Trample
At the beginning of each end step, if an opponent was dealt damage this turn,
Augment (, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)
Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature and roll a six-sided die. Until end of turn, it gains haste and gets +X/+0, where X is the result.
"Need a hammer? Gotta get your fix? I know a guy."
As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
Whenever you roll a die, remove all +1/+1 counters from this creature, then put a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
Whenever you cast a spell with a Goblin Explosioneers watermark, this enchantment deals 2 damage to any target.
It's less "music" and more "straightforward hearing damage."
(This creature has INFINITE POWER.)
It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says,
When this creature enters, ask a person outside the game to high-five you. If they won't, this creature gains haste until end of turn.
"Give me . . . some skin."
Just Desserts deals π damage to target creature. (π is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. (It's a smidgen more than 3.))
"It's time to put the 'die' in 'diameter!'"
—Flaky the Irrational
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. This creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.
"You're about to be struck by a brilliant idea!"