As this artifact enters, you and an opponent each secretly choose Whack or Doodle. Then those choices are revealed. If the choices match, this artifact has that ability. Otherwise, it has Buzz.
• Whack — : Target player loses 2 life.
• Doodle — : You gain 3 life.
• Buzz — , : Draw a card.
, : Move the CRANK! counter to your Contraption deck's next sprocket and crank any number of that sprocket's Contraptions.
"Perhaps you believe, even in these final moments, that you will be saved. But doom has no snooze button, you fools!"
—Baron Von Count
Flying
: Reassemble target Contraption you control. (Move it onto another one of your sprockets.)
"Cogs on cats / Cogs on dogs / Cogs on hats / And cogs on cogs."
—Song of the Cogmentor
, Sacrifice this artifact: It deals damage to any target equal to the number of Contraptions you control.
Common side effects include headaches, ringing in ears, and excessive smithereens. In some cases, a small hole in space-time may develop.
"whirrrr . . . beep . . . click . . . click?"
"click . . . click . . . whirrrr . . . beep."
"click . . . click . . . beep . . . whirrrr . . ."
"click . . . whirrrr . . . beep . . . click!"
During your turn, if this card is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
: Return this artifact to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see this artifact.
, Sacrifice this artifact: Destroy target attacking creature.
, : Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.
, : Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
, : Proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)
, : Draw a card. Activate only if you have no cards in hand.
, : You gain 10 life.
, , Sacrifice this artifact: You may put a silver-bordered or acorn permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.
: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add . Activate only as an instant.
, : Target player discards a card. Activate only during your turn.
: This artifact becomes an X/X Construct artifact creature until end of turn.
: Add one mana of any color.
, : Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and your opponent guessed wrong, draw a card.
, : This artifact deals 12 damage to target creature.
Sacrifice a land: You gain 2 life.
Sacrifice a creature: Add .
, Discard a card: Search your library for a card that shares a complete word in its name with the name of the discarded card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
, : Scry 2.
, , Pay 1 life: Create a 0/1 white Goat creature token.
, , Sacrifice this artifact: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.
When this creature enters, create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.
, : Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.
Early testing failed because the clones were all thumbs.
, , Sacrifice Kindslaver: A person outside the game controls target player during that player's next turn. Neither player may advise that person until the end of that turn.
"Just relax—I brought in a substitute."
If you would roll a die, instead roll two of those dice and ignore one of those results.
Krark was the kind of goblin who'd lose his thumb in a wager and come right back with "Double or nothing!"
When this creature enters, return target host card or card with augment from your graveyard to your hand.
Equipped creature has ": This creature deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker. Roll a six-sided die. On a 5 or higher, untap it."
Equip
"Time for you to meet the brains of this operation!"
—The Big Idea
: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds . Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.
"When it comes down to it, science is more art than science."
Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you have five seconds to choose a keyword you haven't chosen for a card named Modular Monstrosity today that's been printed on a creature card. If you do, this creature gains that ability. Otherwise, this creature loses all keyword abilities.
Equipped creature gets +2/+1 and has protection from die rolls. (Nothing that lets a player roll a die can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to equipped creature.)
Equip
At the beginning of each end step, if an artifact entered the battlefield under your control this turn,
Augment (, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)
When this artifact enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When this artifact leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.
As this artifact enters, choose a consonant other than N, R, S, or T.
Whenever a player casts a spell, you gain 1 life for each time the chosen letter appears in that spell's name.
A symbol of _________ in _________ times.
As this artifact enters, choose a watermark.
Creatures you control with the chosen watermark get +1/+1.
A truly symbolic advantage.
:
Augment (, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)
Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, this creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
: Roll a six-sided die.
Q: Where does a mechanical squirrel hide its nuts?
A: In a bolt hole.
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip
When this creature enters, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
: Add .
: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with this land.
The Order of the Widget doesn't believe in traveling light.
: Add .
: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with this land.
The location of S.N.E.A.K. HQ is a closely guarded secret.
: Add .
: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with this land.
The League of Dastardly Doom takes the word "headquarters" very seriously.
: Add .
: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with this land.
For the Goblin Explosioneers, there's no crater like home.
: Add .
: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with this land.
"WARNING: Do not feed the rhinopus."
—Crossbreed Labs campus advisory
: Add . Spend this mana only to cast spells with watermarks.
Shopping List
Lamp-hand attachment
X-ray contact lenses
Discount death ray
Two-headed hammer
Kitten-fish
Whenever you crank this Contraption, target creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of creatures you control.
Whenever you crank this Contraption, until end of turn, target creature gets +1/+0, gains flying, and becomes an artifact in addition to its other types.
Whenever you crank this Contraption, put two +1/+1 counters on target creature.
Whenever you crank this Contraption, until end of turn, target creature becomes an artifact in addition to its other types and gains ": You gain 3 life."
Whenever you crank this Contraption, until end of turn, target creature gains ": This creature fights another target creature."
Whenever you crank this Contraption, roll two six-sided dice. This Contraption deals damage to target player or planeswalker equal to the difference between those results.
Whenever you crank this Contraption, target creature gets +2/+0 and gains trample until end of turn.
Whenever you crank this Contraption, until end of turn, target creature gains "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, destroy target creature that player controls."
Whenever you crank this Contraption, until end of turn, target creature gains "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card."
Whenever you crank this Contraption, create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.
Whenever you crank this Contraption, target player loses 2 life.
Whenever you crank this Contraption, target player gains life equal to the greatest power among creatures you control.
Whenever you crank this Contraption, each time a source you control would deal damage this turn, it deals double that damage instead.
Whenever you crank this Contraption, until end of turn, target creature becomes a copy of any creature on the battlefield, except it's an artifact in addition to its other types.
Whenever you crank this Contraption, create two 1/1 blue Faerie Spy creature tokens with flying, haste, and "Whenever this token deals combat damage to a player, draw a card." Exile them at the beginning of the next end step.
Whenever you crank this Contraption, up to two target creatures each get +2/+2 until end of turn.
Whenever you crank this Contraption, roll two six-sided dice. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the difference between those results.
Whenever you crank this Contraption, create two 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature tokens.
Whenever you crank this Contraption, creatures you control get +2/+0 and gain trample until end of turn.
Whenever you crank this Contraption, target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of creature cards in its controller's graveyard.
Whenever you crank this Contraption, roll two six-sided dice. This Contraption assembles a number of Contraptions equal to the difference between those results. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
Whenever you crank this Contraption, target creature must be blocked this turn if able.